Category: Wisdom

A Soul Beyond Eclipse, difficult times, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Frank de Acosta, poetry, Wisdom

A Soul Beyond Eclipse

Mona Alvarado Frazier

Getty Images



This morning I felt like this photograph and it’s accompanying poem:


                                                        A Soul Beyond Eclipse 


Sometimes I feel weary in mind, heart, and spirit. 
Yet I breathe, opening my eyes of failing sight; 
somehow finding strength to carry on in faith. 
Despite a beaming sun and lucent sky,
the shadow of the moon chills me 
bone & marrow. 
The eclipse of my soul obscures the illumination of hope, only the stinging scars of youth and frailties of today I see. 
Suddenly a face I see as in a dream: 
a nameless muse who with but one touch animates new life.
A song wells up within me & aspiration fills my wings; 
melodic words become a circle of fire breaching the dark. 
Light of dusk fills me with a prayer of healing & creation;
I offer my burdens at the altar and slumber, becoming as ceremony smoke. 
Renewed I rise with dawn, filled with songs, poems, & prayers; 
the circle of fire becomes my arc of resurrection… 
En Lak Etch… 


Frank de Jesus Acosta


Amid the fast paced weekend of visiting with friends certain themes came up in conversation. Several people in my life are facing much stress and heavy emotional burdens lately.They or their family members are facing terminal illness, drug addiction, struggles with children, and other issues. 


It is so hard for those undergoing these burdens and the one listening  feels so helpless. 


What can one offer to their friend who is going through these times except a listening ear, some words of support? Sometimes there is that fine line, what can one say that won’t be trite or misconstrued? 

When I went through my own difficult times, I didn’t feel any better when someone said, “Everything will be okay.” 
 I wanted to blurt out, “how do you know?” 

In fact that phrase got me angry, because what was happening to me really sucked.
Could someone just say, “That sucks big time?” 
Actually, I did overhear that, from a young teenager saying that to one of my kids, who nodded his head gravely. I think he felt understood. 

I know people don’t say “Everything will be okay,”  to be unkind, so it begs the question,
what can someone say when we want to let friends know we feel badly for them?

So I listened to my friends, nodded my head, offered my opinion only if they asked, and tried to show support with a hug or whisper. I know I said “that sucks,” at least twice. 

I don’t think there are any ‘rules,’ on how to support someone who’s going through a rough time, except not to start off with “Everything will be okay,” 
or at least put that sentence at the very end. 

So, it was a great comfort when I came across this poem by Frank de Acosta. I read it a few times. I felt he understood. The words offered hope. I felt, this is something that has to be shared, so I posted it on my Facebook and then wrote about it here. 

Although I don’t have the answers to life’s burden’s, I just thought I’d share his poem because I felt he understood and that hopefully sooner, than later, that 
everything will be okay. 
Adele, Interviews with Adele, Karl Lagerfield, Self-confidence, Self-Esteem, Strong Women, Wisdom

10 Reasons Adele Rocks Interviews

Mona Alvarado Frazier

The other day I came across an article from iVillage titled “The Real Sizes of Famous Women.” Adele, the Grammy Award winning singer, was the first beautiful woman shown in the gallery. I really like Adele’s soulful sound and often wondered how a young woman could translate her hurt and life’s lessons into such beautiful music. Because of the themes in her songs I looked upon her as a strong woman. 
After reading “the Real Sizes…” I had another ten reasons to love Adele and she grew ten times stronger.  A very succinct quote accompanied her curvaceous photo. Now that’s what I’m talking about, rang through my head. Her words were so on the mark that I tweeted it. 
“I don’t want to be some skinny Minnie with my tits out. I don’t want people confusing what it is that I’m about.”
Throughout the day the quote was retweeted. Women and men identified with her perspective. It made me feel good to know that others believed that too. People are so much more than their clothes, body structure, and looks.
But Karl Lagerfield didn’t think that. A few months back he began to say that Adele was the “thing” of the moment and ended up saying she was fat but she had a divine voice.
After Lagerfield’s “a little too fat” quote hit the air, I think he went into hiding, thought twice about it and looked for the nearest spin doctor to concoct an apology. Too late. Flurries of interviews, tweets, and magazine articles repeated the quote. Even ‘my’  Anderson Cooper interviewed Adele for a “60 Minutes Overtime”  segment. The infamous quote was repeated in that and several other interviews.
His quote reminded me of a phrase I heard more than twice in my teens…’but you have such a pretty face.’ I never did have a comeback to these comments, except to roll my eyes at my mother. When she started on my own daughter I added a little more than the rolling of eyes, but nothing like Adele’s words. 
Adele was cool, self assured. During those interviews she gave us insightful words of wisdom which evidenced her self-confidence. Her healthy  perspective gave us more bits of wisdom filled with positive self-image and strength. 
These are 10 quotes from Adele that rocked those interviews: 
  1. “I’ve never seen magazine covers or music videos and been like, ‘I need to look like that to be a success.’ 
  2. “Even if I did have, you know, a ‘Sports Illustrated’ body, I’d still wear elegant clothes.”
  3. She offered this to young girls and women, who are bombarded with images of skinny-mini models: The first thing to do is be happy with yourself and appreciate your body– only then should you try to change things about yourself.
  4. “Exploiting yourself sexually is not a good look.”  


     6. “I like having my hair and face done, but I’m not going to lose weight because someone tells me to. I make music to be a musician not to be on the cover of Playboy.”


     7.  “I’ve never had a problem with the way I look. I’d rather have lunch with my friends than go to a gym.


     8. I don’t want to go on a diet, I don’t want to eat a Caesar salad with no dressing, why would I   do that? I ain’t got time for this, just be happy and don’t be stupid.


10.
 I’m very partial to #8-10. I wish I had this list on the tip of my tongue when I heard my own “fat” phrase roll off my mother’s ‘just trying to be helpful’ tongue. Although I haven’t heard these comments in the last few years, I think I’ll have them ready if I ever hear similar phrases.