Preserving your past, Writing, writing life story, writing memoir

Writing Memoir & Preserving the past

Three years ago, “The Bucket List” came out in movie theaters across the nation. Two terminally ill men drew up a wish list and then hit the road to accomplish those things before they “kicked the bucket.” Soon after thousands of people created their own bucket list, websites sprung up, magazine articles written, and the word “bucket list” became a slang term in popular culture.

People became inspired to dream and to write those dreams down on paper or online. I was one of those thousands of people. And at the top of my list was “write a story for publication.” That was it, I didn’t specify length, genre, or attach a time and date. And I didn’t define ‘publication.’

A natural starting point was to write what I know. And the only thing I thought I knew were the stories I heard about my grandparents, mother, and my own experiences. But the question of how to start and organize this project led me to wonder how to begin. I didn’t have to search far. In my mailbox, I found a pamphlet from the local Adult Continuing Education. I flipped through it and thought, who has the time? Then I glanced at the words “Do you want to write? Preserving your Past is a chance to document your stories about growing up, family life and events that have shaped your life. No previous experience in writing is necessary to gain enjoyment and insight from this class.” So there it was, waiting for me to send in a nominal fee.

The weekly classes were just what I needed to get started. My fellow students were a diverse group of men and women, all older than I was (free class for over 60), and often times much more energetic. I had a ball in those classes with fascinating people who were encouraging, supportive, and sources of wisdom.  

Soon I decided to write a life history for my own family. My mother was an orphan at a young age and she could recall only knew bits and pieces of my grandparent’s lives. I wanted my mother’s grandchildren to know about their great grandparents, their children and the stories that comprised their Nana’s life. Time is fleeting so I got to work and interviewed my mother and her cousin, who knew more about the grandparents than my mother could remember.

Organization of the book was easier with an objective. Know whom you are writing the memoir for. If it is for close family or friends you might use a more personal writing style rather than if it was for a more public audience. This was a story for my extended family only and I wrote it in narrative with dialogue and photos to show more about the people and their history. This helped me stay focused on what I wanted to say.

Create an outline of everything you want to include. Relevant background information, i.e., early life family events and difficulties – economic, emotional and physical, births and deaths, and other life-shaping situations are important as well as funny stories, bits of wisdom, and folktales. Once this is information is collected, get to writing. Remember a basic rule, “write first and edit later.”

The life history I wrote began with my grandparents. How they met, the story of her kidnapping (mutual decision), their wedding (by proxy) and their travels from Guanajuato during the Mexican Revolution to the barrio of Little Siloa in Pomona, California. Significant events included the Great Depression, World War II, migrant work, education, Christmas traditions, weddings, careers, illness, and death. The good and the not so good made its way into the history. Your family may not want to read that or you might want to leave certain things out. It’s your call.

Once you complete the memoir or life story, you may want to self-publish through any of several online publishers. I used Blurb.com and was very happy with the product I received. The book was reasonable in cost, printed as a softback, and ninety pages.

I gave the book, “Remembering, before I Forget,” as Christmas presents for my mother, siblings, and cousins. It was gratifying to see everyone reading the story, laughing, and asking my mother questions. And it was encouraging to be able to cross something off the ‘bucket list.” 

Two years ago, I replaced it with something more specific “Write a fiction novel.” And now after two manuscripts I’ve added, “Get an agent and publish the novels.” One-half is accomplished and now we wait for the other half. I’m looking forward to cross that off my list. Until then I’m getting ready to go white water rafting next week and I’m taking my list with me.
Natalie Goldberg, Writer Retreats, Writing, Writing groups

Writer’s Group- The Perks

There are so many perks from belonging to a great writer’s group. For the past two and a half years I’ve been involved in a women’s writers group: Women Who Write (WoWW). It was a case of serendipity that I was invited to this group of interesting, passionate, eclectic group of women writer’s and poets. Lucky for me I was accepted by the group (they decided I was a good fit) and my pen joined their own.

Sometimes the group is eight people strong and other times there are four of us who meet twice a month for three hours a session. We write fiction, non-fiction, poetry, children’s books, YA books and novels. Some are published (5 times and WoWW is on that books dedication page ) and others not published, yet. And we always pot-luck. I’ve had the most wonderful food at our pot-lucks. Even more fantastic is that our group was free to join.

If you’re not in a writer’s group, find your way to one, as quick as you can. Some very large writer’s club’s have listing of smaller subgroups, coffee shops sometimes have them listed on the bulletin board, or you can find listing in writer’s magazines or your local paper.
The benefits of such a group are numerous. Off the top of my fingers: motivation, support, time to write (you have to carve out some time each month), discipline (you have to bring 1 to 5 pages of what you have written), input and critique (your writing improves if you don’t have thin skin and a thick ego), connection to others, creative energy & synergy (impromptu writings), and friendship. 
And one of the biggest perks? Writing retreats. Once a quarter we spend 8 hours to 7 days together. We’re not rich, but through various connections (remember one has been published 5 times) we have written in Mesilla, New Mexico with Denise Chavez (Loving Pedro Infante, Last of the Menu Girls), at a local  beach house for the weekend, in Santa Ynez for the day (photo below), Catalina Island, Santa Barbara and New Zealand (a member has a relative with a B & B). Not everyone goes every time, some women have small children, others  spouses and/or there are other priorities that weekend. 
Our retreats have been spent in surf, sand, heat, cold, and once during a flood when we were holed up in our hotel rooms. But we still had our retreat. Our wonderful group leader begins the day with a candle lighting ceremony where we each tell each other what we want to accomplish; we put out to the universe what we want for our writing time. An excerpt from The Artist Way by Julia Cameron or Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, is read and then we begin. 
We do a generative writing where we can write from a writing prompt for 5 minutes, then 10, then 20 minutes. It’s amazing what comes out of your pen in those few minutes. It’s invigorating, you prove to yourself that you can do it. Then we read to each other, or not, it’s whatever we feel like doing. 
Another exercise is to find something inside or outside and we sketch the object, write down every word (not sentence) that comes to mind when you see the object, then create a story from it. It can be a painting, insect, vase, your flowers seeds, anything. It doesn’t matter if your sketch looks like the object or not. I usually have to tell the group what I drew first. Again, it’s mind-boggling what you can write when you are immersed in the group. 
Depending on whether it is an 8 hour retreat or two days, we always make time to write on our own, whether it’s revisions, continuing our Work In Progress (WIP), or developing a work. After we write we nap, swim, take a walk, or lay out for a while until the designated time we decide to come together for a picnic or put together a meal. 
We have a closing ceremony too where we say one or two words to describe how we feel. Then the candle is blown out, we hug each other, kiss-kiss, and go on our merry way. And we are indeed merry, full of ideas, proud of ourselves for taking the time to write, to grow, and share. 
In the latter part of 2012 we hope to have our writer’s group meet up in Paris, where two of us will be staying for a couple of months (a dream in the making). You never know what will happen when you join a writing group. I must study up on my French. Bonne nuit, mes amis!