About once a month the stars align, the mood is right, and the temperature is at a perfect balance, yes, and the bluebirds sing a pleasing melody. No this isn’t a commercial for Cialis. It’s a picture of that perfect time when you (the parent) want to talk to the kids and they let you. More than that it’s that time when you have a meaningful exchange about each other’s state of mind, dreams, and goals.
You do know by now, that there is no perfect time to talk with your kids. I used to think that the best time to talk with them was when I held them hostage in the car on the way to school. Those short times elicited the one word response and/or a mild grunt. I ended up spouting a soliloquy. Sometimes they’d surprise me with more than one word: “I don’t know, mom.” Among three kids (Only Daughter, Vegan Son, Oldest Son) that took all of five seconds–total.
But I jest. A little.
Everyday, she says, she feels herself getting closer and closer to graduating, getting a good job, a car, and finding a ‘cute’ apartment for her and her chinchillas, rat, and fish. My smile is ear to ear. OD says “I’ll finally get to decorate my own place not just my little room.” She has very cool flea market finds accumulated in her closet. The conversation goes on for many more minutes…
…and then I feel a little sad, because the girl in front of me no longer has her hair cut in a cute bob nor does she wear pink. She is a grown woman, who dyes her own hair, has a tattoo “To Thine Own Self Be True,” and has a unique fashion sense that ranges from 5 inch glitter heels to Minnetonka moccasins, Betsey Johnson to Target dresses, and five year old skinny jeans.
Everyday I feel her stepping out into her future and I don’t know if I’m ready yet. But I figure I have another eighteen months with her at home before she can afford to move out. And when that day comes, I hope she’ll still want to go ‘do lunch’ or watch movies with mom.
Until then, the quest for ‘ripe’ times to talk to each of my three kids, is a priority. Even if I end up in a monologue.