How do tears lead us home?
There is crying from sadness, grief, anger, frustration,
and sometimes there is crying for happy.
I imagine different rooms in a house, with appropriate decor (gray’s, brown’s, red’s), with soft blankets and big cushy pillows
where we can go to cry our eyes out.
But I’d gather most of us spend time stifling the times in which we want to cry.
I do that myself sometimes and end up feeling miserable, guilty, and congested.
Sometimes I feel dumb for even wanting to cry.
That is until I came across this blog post from Annie Lalla, which gave me much relief and a new philosophy.
Here are some excerpts (emphasis mine). I encourage you to read the full post on her website-she’s awesome.
“Crying is a secret sacred place, a place of solitude.
It’s not a space we navigate with much finesse; there are few maps on how to cry.
Many conflicting feelings arise around tears -fear of looking weak, of being too emotional, guilt for making others feel bad, relief at sharing pent-up thoughts, joy at being seen in our truth.
To cry is to render your heart naked, undefended & utterly exposed to the world. No wonder it is shrouded in so much terror, secrecy and shame.
Tears…your tears, are the way your body shows you what’s important to you. Holding them back is a form of self-deception and a withhold of your deepest truth. When I feel that familiar proto-tear sensation rising up in my throat, I know I always have a choice in that moment:
to cry or…to lie.
Every uncried tear is a lost epiphany, a missed lesson, a moment that failed at aliveness.
Each time you cry you release ancient tears from all the moments you didn’t let yourself cry in the past.
No tear is ever wasted, each one holds in it’s liquid infinity, 1o years worth of therapeutic salve.
Knowing this, I now look forward to opportunities to cry…once the portal is open, I let as many drops out as I can. The more I cry, the more alive I feel.
Tears teach us what we actually care about, they point at what matters the most, they take us back to a place of innocence & transparency.
Tears lead us home.
From a place of frustration, anger, or grief, we can release the tears inside, feel the pain, examine it, and do some self talk, without any guilt or shame.
Think of crying as part of self-care and good mental health.
This attitude sure beats stifling our feelings and tears and becoming congested, or overeating, over drinking, or being in denial.
Have a great weekend and I hope you remember that it’s healthy to release yourself with a good cry.