Category: Strong Women

Author Sonia Sotomayor, Book Review, Books, first Latina Supreme Court Justice, Latino culture, life lessons, Memoir, My Beloved World, Strength, Strong Women, Wisdom

Lessons from Sonia Sotomayor: My Beloved World

Mona Alvarado Frazier

The Honorable Chief Justice Sonia Sotomayor has been on several television programs this last month and it’s not for any Supreme Court hearing. It’s because of her memoir, “My Beloved World,” which has garnered much praise and is the Amazon Book of the Month for January 2013. 

Much of the attention to the book may be because she is the first Latina Chief Justice and the third woman appointed to the Supreme Court. That’s certainly a draw, but not the only reason I selected her memoir to read. 

I was drawn to order the book because I knew there had to be a story of a struggle, tenacity, and spirit in her story. 

Someone doesn’t become the first Latina or  a woman judge, CEO, astronaut, or any other distinguishable career choice without more than a few bumps in the road. I was interested in reading about the journey on that bumpy road from the slums to the Supreme Court.

Like many readers, the stories that resonate with me are about people who suffer a loss, endure hardships, and rise to survive and thrive with courage and strength. This memoir certainly fit this description.

Ms. Sotomayor’s candid memoir concentrates on her childhood, college years, and life before she became a federal judge in 1992 and Supreme Court Justice in 2007. 

I found the first half of the book, about her childhood and teen years, the most engaging. A few life lessons stood out which made the lengthy book a pleasure to read. 



Lessons:

  1. Self reliance.

Her diabetes required insulin shots several times a day,(in an era without disposable syringes). Her father, an alcoholic, couldn’t be relied upon and her mother was overburdened. “To my family the disease was a deadly curse…my parents couldn’t pick up a syringe without panicking…” So she learned how to do this herself at age eight.

   2. Value family and culture.

Her Abuelita was a huge presence in her life, as well as her aunts, uncles and cousins. She often returned to Puerto Rico to visit relatives. Her grandmothers family parties always featured Puerto Rican dishes, Spanish music, and poetry.

She took numerous classes to learn more about Puerto Rico and even wrote her thesis about it. In her dedication she wrote, “To my family, for you have given me my Puerto Rican-ness.”

   3. Do your best and then try harder.

Education was important to her mother, who worked extra shifts to place her in Catholic school. “Discipline was what made Catholic school a good investment in my mothers eyes…discipline was virtually an eighth sacrament.”

   4. Expand your horizons.

Books were Ms. Sotomayor’s introduction into another world. The summer after her father’s death, nine year old Sonia spent everyday in the public library reading the stories of Greek gods and heroes. Her mother bought the Encyclopedia Britannica (as did my own mother) from a door to door salesman. “I found myself wandering the world’s geography, pondering molecules like daisy chains…the world branched our before me in a thousand directions…” 

Not every effort to  expand her horizons were as welcome as books. “Ballet class was a brief torture…Piano wasn’t much better…Guitar lessons…the worst of all. The real problem was getting there and back through a neighborhood..where a gang of taunting bullies made clear Puerto Rican kids were not welcome. I got smacked…”

    5. Find role models.

Television doesn’t usually bring to mind role models, but for Ms. Sotomayor Perry Mason, the defense attorney and Burger, the prosecuting attorney were her heroes. “…I liked that he was a good loser, that he was more committed to finding the truth than to winning his case.” She paid more attention to the judge on the show. “…it was the judge who fascinated me. A minimal, but vital presence,…a personification of justice…it was the judge who called the shots.”

Her mother, who returned to school after her husbands death to become a nurse, taught her “…a surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence.”


   6. Seek to understand.

Poverty, her fathers alcoholism, her mother’s emotional detachment, racism and divorce played a part in her early life, but the reader finds that Ms. Sotomayor seeks to understand others instead of being a judge (no pun intended). 

Besides the tough childhood, strenuous college and beginning years in law, the Chief Justice also divulges that she enjoys parties, asks for hugs, was a three and a half pack a day smoker, and is a “pretty good poker player… I do win regularly among my friends. I don’t think they let me win.”  

It is no wonder that Ms. Sotomayor has this plaque on her office door:




The plaque says it all, but read the book to see how she made history. 

Pearl S. Buck quote, Strong Women, Wisdom, Writers, writing retreats

11 Qualities of Strong Women who are Writers

Mona Alvarado Frazier

Four times a year the biweekly writing group I belong to takes a writer’s retreat. Our group of seven ranges in age from 39 to 64 years. Some have young kids, others older, like my YA’s. 

We write in different genres and have a wide gamut of ‘real’ jobs, but through these retreats we have bonded together like writing sisters, or writing comadres, (kind of like the word comrade, but much closer).

Sometimes the retreats are for one day and other times it’s for a week. It sounds like a lot of time away for women who are mothers and spouses, but taking time out for writing and ourselves is important to all of us. 

After this weekend I thought about what transpired and realized that women writers often need the relational support of other women writers. We spend so much time in isolation, during early morning hours or late nights squeezing in as much writing as possible between kids, spouses, and family life that we need time with other women who understand us.

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This past weekend we spent our winter retreat in the Santa Ynez Valley, in a working vineyard, surrounded by oak trees, snowcapped mountains, and undulating rows of grape vines. Horses, mud hens and jackrabbits enjoyed the surrounding land and the huge pond, with its requisite rope hanging from a tree limb, outside our place. 

Through connections we enjoyed this retreat free of charge. That’s how we find our locations, someone knows someone, who knows someone and we usually end up with a super reduced rate or no charge almost all the time. 

On the first night, our ritual is to each light a candle and verbalize our intention for the retreat. Sometimes it’s simply to rest and recharge, other times it’s to draft a few poems, or to work on a manuscript. And there is always chocolate, wine, and cheese. Yes, we treat ourselves well. 

Many times, when we are having meals or sharing our work, we get emotional and let it all out. There are many listening ears, shoulders to cry on, many hugs to give and receive. It’s a safe place to be.


From our retreat I learned that strong women writers have the following qualities. They :

  1. Ask for the wisdom of others
  2. Nurture themselves
  3. Know when to give a hug and not judge
  4. Encourage, validate and edify others
  5. Are honest with their feelings without tearing down someone else
  6. Are women who inspire 
  7. Respect themselves
  8. Celebrate others success
  9. Demonstrate grace (the exercise of love, kindness, mercy)
  10. Teach you something
  11. Keep on writing, keep persevering

All writers need a retreat, heck, all women need retreats of some sort just to recharge, so they can keep going forward with life and responsibilities. 

How can you take a retreat for yourself this year?