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Elmore Leonard, purple prose, Revision, slow passages, Stephen King, Toni Lopopolo, Writing

Want to Write Better? Kill Your Darlings

Mona Alvarado Frazier

The first time I heard the saying “Kill your darlings,” was when writing boot camp instructor, Toni Lopopolo, held up an 8×12 poster with a big slash over the words. The words originally came from Sir Arthur Quiller Couch:

‘Whenever you feel an impulse to perpetrate a piece of exceptionally fine writing, obey it—whole-heartedly—and delete it before sending your manuscript to press. Murder your darlings.’

William Faulkner paraphrased the quote to:


                                                       “In writing, you must kill your darlings.”


Stephen King, yes that SK, reiterated this advice in his book “On Writing.” The use of KYD is one of the first things he recommends after a first draft. To get to a second draft  he suggests cutting the first one by 10%. You can easily start with KYD.


And last but not least, Elmore Leonard’s take on this:

         ” …kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.” 



Darlings are those beautiful bits of prose, a character, or setting that you just love. It can be a wonderful turn of a phrase, an insightful nugget of wisdom, a character, unique adjectives or adverbs. Sounds so precious, right? In and of themselves they sure do, but alas, they don’t fit in the story. They’re filler words, setting, dialogue, or characters. 


                            The words aren’t there to fulfill word counts- every word must count.


It’s important not to get so attached to these scenes or dialogue that you can’t bring yourself to cut them for the sake of the overall story. Another piece of advice that Stephen King and many other authors give: put your first draft away for 4 to 6 weeks then look at it with fresh eyes and mind. After some distance you may recognize the KYD’s that snuck into your draft. 


The KYD’s to look for are: 

  • Ineffective Dialogue: it rambles, is dull, makes small talk, or enters the rabbit hole
  • Telling: there is so much narrative there are blocks of black-show don’t tell
  • Purple Prose: flowery, fifty dollar words when simple, straightforward is enough
  • Slow passages: another ramble and the reader yawns or skips-slows pace
  • Characters: who don’t further the plot or is unimportant to story
  • Verb/Adverb combo: too many results in weakened writing-go for the strong verb
When you find these intruders….Kill ’em. 
If you want to show some mercy, then cut and paste them onto a document you title “Sneaky B’s,” or other such reminder. You may want that evicted character you worked on for months to go in another story. That beautiful or dark setting may work somewhere else. 

I know this is a difficult thing to do. If you can’t bear to KYD’s, have someone you trust read and wield the red pen. It’s only red ink, not blood, you can take it. 

How do you KYD’s? I’m interested to know since I have two MS’s in revision and I’m giving myself a deadline.  






Health, Mexican Cooking, Mexican Vegan cooking, Rainy day cooking

Mexican Cooking: Vegan Style

Mona Alvarado Frazier

Sheets of wind and rain greeted me this morning. Oldest son flew out of LAX very early this morning and sent me a text that his plane departed before it began raining and that it was hot and humid-sounds right for Atlanta. He’s missing the storm (the Southern California version: 2- 3 inches of rain & windy) that is due today and predicted to last until Monday night.


I like the rain, as long as I’m not driving and water’s not leaking somewhere in my house. I like being in pajamas too. There’s so much to do on a rainy day: catch up on reading, watch an old movie, upload photos, redo a bedroom, play scrabble and make warm comfort food.


Before I sacked out on the couch with a book I tried out new Vegan recipes for Vegan Son. He’s my youngest and has been a vegan for 9 months. Although I fully support Vegan Son, I also worry about whether he’s getting enough protein and essential vitamins. The boy’s a little over 6 feet, skinny, and an active skateboarder who forgets to eat when he’s involved with an art project or silk screening. I am particularly happy to find that almost all foods except for alcohol, sugar, and fats provide some protein.


A vegan diet is heart and healty since the top three ‘bad’ cholesterol producers are : processed meats, ice cream, and lard. Top Vegan sources include: lentils, chickpeas, tofu, peas, peanut butter, soy or almond milk, almonds, spinach, rice, whole wheat bread, potatoes, broccoli, and kale. If part of a day’s menu included the following foods, you would meet the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for protein for an adult male:

1 cup oatmeal, 1 cup soy milk
2 slices whole wheat bread, 1 bagel
2 Tablespoons peanut butter
1 cup vegetarian baked beans
5 ounces tofu, 2 Tablespoons of almonds
1 cup broccoli, and 1 cup brown rice.
 

Veganism is the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products. Ethical vegans reject the commodity status of animals and the use of animal products for any purpose, while dietary vegans or strict vegetarians eliminate them from their diet only. Another form, environmental veganism, rejects the use of animal products on the premise that the industrial practice is environmentally damaging and unsustainable My son is a dietary and enviromental vegan.

Approximately 1% of the US population is Vegan. Veganism is an oddity among my extended Mexican American family. And Mexican Vegan cooking even more of a rarity although there are a couple of sites out there. We don’t have a single restaurant in our city of 190K that has more than the requisite Veggie Burger on their menu (and that is usually made with cheese)


So, today I’m tweaking Mexican recipes for enchiladas, chile beans, guisado, and tacos. It is surprisingly simple if you have a few vegan products: soy chorizo, tofu, and vegan cheese such as Daiya, (first 2 found at most markets and Trader Joe’s, Daiya found at Fresh N Easy) you can make all of these food items.


Here are two easy Vegan recipes:
                                                                         Enchiladas

Fill and roll up 12 heated corn tortillas with a mixture of mashed black or pinto beans (you can also use Beef-Less product), Daiya shredded cheese, sliced olives, and diced onions. Place rolled and filled tortillas side by side in olive oil greased casserole pan.
Pour 1 12-16 oz. can of Las Palmas or other red chile enchilada sauce over tortillas, top with more shredded Daiya and bake 20 minutes at 350. Serve with vegan sour cream.

Mexican style Chile Beans

(first soak1lb dried pinto beans for 2 hrs., rinse, boil for 1 hr. in 1 quart water with):

1 medium onion, quartered

1 fresh jalapeno pepper, quartered
Salt to taste
In a skillet saute garlic clove and 2 stalks diced celery for 3 minutes
Add 1/2 pkg.Soy Chorizo and 3 oz. of Beef-Less Ground (a soy product) and brown 5 minutes.
Add this to cooked beans and cook on low for another hour.
Serve with Pico de Gallo or any salsa, vegan sour cream, and chopped cilantro.

What do you like to do during rainy days?

Hope you try and enjoy these recipes.
Have a happy weekend.