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Amada Irma Perez, My Handy Writing Book, Post Novel Blues, Saying goodbye, WoWW, Writing

Post Novel Blues

Mona Alvarado Frazier

Get a good look at her. Except for the blue hair, that was me four days ago (sans the slender arms). With my last round of revisions done I  loaded my MS “Butterfly Hearts” onto two different flash drives, sent copies to  friends who volunteered to be readers, and then powered off my laptop. First reaction? Whew, finally. Then I massaged my wrists, smiled, and went on with my day.

Within hours I wanted to go back and open up the MS. No, I shouted back to my inner voice, leave it be, go on to the next MS that’s been waiting for revisions for two months. I opened that MS, working title of Strong Women Grow Here, and began reading the first page. My eyes glazed, the words made no sense, pace slowed, I couldn’t recognize my protag, Juana’s, voice. I almost felt dizzy, discombobulated. What the heck is happening here?

Over the weekend I spoke with my writing mentor, Amada, and described the feelings. She’s published four children’s books and her latest (My Handy Writing Book) just came off the press last week. She listened and nodded her head, she understood, she’s been there. Her suggestion was to do a ritual cleansing with sage and say goodbye to Lili and the other characters in the novel. Hmmm, yes I nodded, I could do that.

Later that evening I found my white sage in my abalone shell. It smelled so, so “sagey,” deep and powerful. I felt it’s soft as a kitten silver white leaves, wrapped in cotton red yarn, and breathed in deep. High Mass in Latin, incense lanterns, low murmurs of prayers, pow-wows, curanderas and sobadoras floated through my mind. And then a huge indigo NO in block letters bulldozed through my thoughts. What? NO, you can’t purge Lili, Vero, Joe, and the kids. NO you can’t cleanse them from your home. Now I’m drawing back my drapes and looking out the window, who’s there?

Then I sat with myself. What do you want to do, what are you feeling? I’m embarassed to say. I feel, I think I’m mourning them, I’m depressed, like the postpartum blues and empty nest mixed together. But it’s a novel, my logical self says-no, the creative self insists. It’s the post novel blues. Did such a thing exist?

When in doubt, Google it. I found a 2008 article by Vickie Britton where she quotes ” It’s long been known that writers, artist, and others in the creative fields can become prone to depression, especially when people finish writing (their novel).” It may be long known, but I didn’t know that, but it does make me feel better.

A few suggestions, cited in various articles, popped up in my search:

  • Write your next new outline, brainstorm new ideas, write a short story (are you kidding me?)
  • Try something new and different that is not writing (hmm, maybe)
  • Organize your work space, clean your desk (uh, no)
  • Use the time to transition (to what?)
I decided to sleep on it. Next morning I powered up the laptop, prepared a cup of green tea (cuz I can’t drink coffee on this new eating plan) and sat down, like I have for months. I just sat there. I wanted to call or text my characters, re-read the MS, have a drink with Lili. I couldn’t type and I didn’t want to either. What to do? 
Last night I met with my writing group, WoWW (WOmen Who Write) and explained my tale of woe when it was ‘check-in’ time. Yes, they nodded and they were supportive. But, I still had the same post novel blues on my drive home. 
Later that night, I sat on my bed and stared at my laptop across my room, against a bulletin board backdrop of blue butterflies, post cards, index cards, scripture quotes, and the prints of my hands with notes in them (from my mentor),etc. And I sat with myself again. How long do these feelings last anyway? 
The next morning (it’s day 4 now) I ran errands and on my drive home, an idea popped in my head, it felt like Lili wanted to say something. When I got home I went out to my backyard and sat in my porch swing. Darn it Liliana, what do you want? 
In a flash, I felt that Lili wanted to go on a trip with her best friend Vero, and Joe can stay with the kids. She wants to go to London. Don’t I remember that has been one of her dreams. So I helped her pack her purple suitcase, with way too many clothes and that dang pair of stilettos and eyeliner (no wings, I promise she said). She set out the batches of walnut brownies for her daughter to take to the kids. I had to tell her to hurry up because she was going to be late. Vero honked the horn outside, Lili grabbed her Cherri Bombe lipstick, threw it into her purse, and ran out the door. 
And now my eyes are misting. Please don’t say “GAH,” because to me, it feels so real. Now I’m sniffing. I pull back my window curtains and wave goodbye. Lili sticks her head out of the window and yells “Cherrio,” with a huge smile on her face. 
Preserving your past, Writing, writing life story, writing memoir

Writing Memoir & Preserving the past

Mona Alvarado Frazier
Three years ago, “The Bucket List” came out in movie theaters across the nation. Two terminally ill men drew up a wish list and then hit the road to accomplish those things before they “kicked the bucket.” Soon after thousands of people created their own bucket list, websites sprung up, magazine articles written, and the word “bucket list” became a slang term in popular culture.

People became inspired to dream and to write those dreams down on paper or online. I was one of those thousands of people. And at the top of my list was “write a story for publication.” That was it, I didn’t specify length, genre, or attach a time and date. And I didn’t define ‘publication.’

A natural starting point was to write what I know. And the only thing I thought I knew were the stories I heard about my grandparents, mother, and my own experiences. But the question of how to start and organize this project led me to wonder how to begin. I didn’t have to search far. In my mailbox, I found a pamphlet from the local Adult Continuing Education. I flipped through it and thought, who has the time? Then I glanced at the words “Do you want to write? Preserving your Past is a chance to document your stories about growing up, family life and events that have shaped your life. No previous experience in writing is necessary to gain enjoyment and insight from this class.” So there it was, waiting for me to send in a nominal fee.

The weekly classes were just what I needed to get started. My fellow students were a diverse group of men and women, all older than I was (free class for over 60), and often times much more energetic. I had a ball in those classes with fascinating people who were encouraging, supportive, and sources of wisdom.  

Soon I decided to write a life history for my own family. My mother was an orphan at a young age and she could recall only knew bits and pieces of my grandparent’s lives. I wanted my mother’s grandchildren to know about their great grandparents, their children and the stories that comprised their Nana’s life. Time is fleeting so I got to work and interviewed my mother and her cousin, who knew more about the grandparents than my mother could remember.

Organization of the book was easier with an objective. Know whom you are writing the memoir for. If it is for close family or friends you might use a more personal writing style rather than if it was for a more public audience. This was a story for my extended family only and I wrote it in narrative with dialogue and photos to show more about the people and their history. This helped me stay focused on what I wanted to say.

Create an outline of everything you want to include. Relevant background information, i.e., early life family events and difficulties – economic, emotional and physical, births and deaths, and other life-shaping situations are important as well as funny stories, bits of wisdom, and folktales. Once this is information is collected, get to writing. Remember a basic rule, “write first and edit later.”

The life history I wrote began with my grandparents. How they met, the story of her kidnapping (mutual decision), their wedding (by proxy) and their travels from Guanajuato during the Mexican Revolution to the barrio of Little Siloa in Pomona, California. Significant events included the Great Depression, World War II, migrant work, education, Christmas traditions, weddings, careers, illness, and death. The good and the not so good made its way into the history. Your family may not want to read that or you might want to leave certain things out. It’s your call.

Once you complete the memoir or life story, you may want to self-publish through any of several online publishers. I used Blurb.com and was very happy with the product I received. The book was reasonable in cost, printed as a softback, and ninety pages.

I gave the book, “Remembering, before I Forget,” as Christmas presents for my mother, siblings, and cousins. It was gratifying to see everyone reading the story, laughing, and asking my mother questions. And it was encouraging to be able to cross something off the ‘bucket list.” 

Two years ago, I replaced it with something more specific “Write a fiction novel.” And now after two manuscripts I’ve added, “Get an agent and publish the novels.” One-half is accomplished and now we wait for the other half. I’m looking forward to cross that off my list. Until then I’m getting ready to go white water rafting next week and I’m taking my list with me.