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Natalie Goldberg, Writer Retreats, Writing, Writing groups

Writer’s Group- The Perks

There are so many perks from belonging to a great writer’s group. For the past two and a half years I’ve been involved in a women’s writers group: Women Who Write (WoWW). It was a case of serendipity that I was invited to this group of interesting, passionate, eclectic group of women writer’s and poets. Lucky for me I was accepted by the group (they decided I was a good fit) and my pen joined their own.

Sometimes the group is eight people strong and other times there are four of us who meet twice a month for three hours a session. We write fiction, non-fiction, poetry, children’s books, YA books and novels. Some are published (5 times and WoWW is on that books dedication page ) and others not published, yet. And we always pot-luck. I’ve had the most wonderful food at our pot-lucks. Even more fantastic is that our group was free to join.

If you’re not in a writer’s group, find your way to one, as quick as you can. Some very large writer’s club’s have listing of smaller subgroups, coffee shops sometimes have them listed on the bulletin board, or you can find listing in writer’s magazines or your local paper.
The benefits of such a group are numerous. Off the top of my fingers: motivation, support, time to write (you have to carve out some time each month), discipline (you have to bring 1 to 5 pages of what you have written), input and critique (your writing improves if you don’t have thin skin and a thick ego), connection to others, creative energy & synergy (impromptu writings), and friendship. 
And one of the biggest perks? Writing retreats. Once a quarter we spend 8 hours to 7 days together. We’re not rich, but through various connections (remember one has been published 5 times) we have written in Mesilla, New Mexico with Denise Chavez (Loving Pedro Infante, Last of the Menu Girls), at a local  beach house for the weekend, in Santa Ynez for the day (photo below), Catalina Island, Santa Barbara and New Zealand (a member has a relative with a B & B). Not everyone goes every time, some women have small children, others  spouses and/or there are other priorities that weekend. 
Our retreats have been spent in surf, sand, heat, cold, and once during a flood when we were holed up in our hotel rooms. But we still had our retreat. Our wonderful group leader begins the day with a candle lighting ceremony where we each tell each other what we want to accomplish; we put out to the universe what we want for our writing time. An excerpt from The Artist Way by Julia Cameron or Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, is read and then we begin. 
We do a generative writing where we can write from a writing prompt for 5 minutes, then 10, then 20 minutes. It’s amazing what comes out of your pen in those few minutes. It’s invigorating, you prove to yourself that you can do it. Then we read to each other, or not, it’s whatever we feel like doing. 
Another exercise is to find something inside or outside and we sketch the object, write down every word (not sentence) that comes to mind when you see the object, then create a story from it. It can be a painting, insect, vase, your flowers seeds, anything. It doesn’t matter if your sketch looks like the object or not. I usually have to tell the group what I drew first. Again, it’s mind-boggling what you can write when you are immersed in the group. 
Depending on whether it is an 8 hour retreat or two days, we always make time to write on our own, whether it’s revisions, continuing our Work In Progress (WIP), or developing a work. After we write we nap, swim, take a walk, or lay out for a while until the designated time we decide to come together for a picnic or put together a meal. 
We have a closing ceremony too where we say one or two words to describe how we feel. Then the candle is blown out, we hug each other, kiss-kiss, and go on our merry way. And we are indeed merry, full of ideas, proud of ourselves for taking the time to write, to grow, and share. 
In the latter part of 2012 we hope to have our writer’s group meet up in Paris, where two of us will be staying for a couple of months (a dream in the making). You never know what will happen when you join a writing group. I must study up on my French. Bonne nuit, mes amis!
Casey Anthony, Sociopath, Sociopathic tendencies

Sociopathy and the Anthony Case

Everyone has an opinion on the Casey Anthony trial. It does remind me of the O.J Simpson case with it’s media attention, theories, and verdicts. Each television channel, talk host, radio personality, and newspaper writer has their slant on what happened and what’s going to happen with this woman, Casey Anthony. 

What I don’t hear much of is that the woman is a sociopath. Why is it important to recognize that she is a sociopath? Because if you can recognize them (sociopaths) you can protect yourself and your children. This aspect of the case is what I would like the talk shows, magazines, and newspapers to spotlight. Educate the general public in this disorder.



Not all sociopaths are killers, most are not. But they are liars, manipulators, thief’s, con artists, frauds, and overall not people you want to take care of your children, date, or have as a friend. 

I’ve spent all of my 28 year career inside of a correctional facility working with male and female offenders. Numerous sociopaths have crossed my path both inside and outside the facility. Whether in or out, they all had the majority of the following traits. 


Interpersonal traits
Antisocial lifestyle
© 1993 by Robert D. Hare, PhD. 


The more characteristics the person has the higher they are on the continuum of antisocial to sociopaths to psychopathic. Again, not all psychopaths and sociopaths murder. It  isn’t the only outcome. Not everyone in jail is a sociopath either. There are numerous men and women who we cross paths with that are sociopaths. If you do, run the other way, no matter how charming they seem.

Why are sociopaths like Casey Anthony and O.J. Simpson initially not convicted of murder? 

Why sociopaths are hard to recognize

1. They’re fluent talkers (liars). Even when caught in a lie, they change their stories without skipping a beat.  
2. They’re totally comfortable in social situations and cool under pressure.  
3. They use family or business connections to make themselves appear legitimate.  
4. They often become, or pretend to be, clergy, lawyers, physicians, teachers, counselors and artists. Most of us generally assume people in these positions are trustworthy.
5. They’re happy to exaggerate—or fabricate—credentials. Few of us check their references.  
6. They will say absolutely anything—”I love you,” “You can trust me,” “I’ll never do it again.” The words, to them, mean absolutely nothing.

Subcriminal sociopaths

According to Dr. Robert Hare, many sociopaths (he prefers the term “psychopaths”) behave in a way that is technically not illegal, but violates conventional ethical standards. Dr. Hare calls these cases “subcriminal.”
In his book, Without Conscience, he states:

“They appear to function reasonably well—as lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists, academics, mercenaries, police officers, cult leaders, military personnel, businesspeople, writers, artists, entertainers and so forth—without breaking the law, or at least without being caught and convicted. These individuals are every bit as egocentric, callous and manipulative as the average criminal psychopath; however, their intelligence, family background, social skills and circumstances permit them to construct a façade of normalcy and to get what they want with relative impunity.”* (click on * for link to Lovefraud website)



These subcriminal sociopaths rarely go to prison, but what does happen is that they repeat their behavior and are caught, repeat, caught, until they crash and burn. OJ Simpson will be in prison for 33 years, Bernie Madoff received 150 years, and Ms. Anthony (unless she asks for intense counseling) will join them after a couple of ‘repeat and caught,’ sessions. 


We hope that innocents aren’t in their pathway when they do so.