Category: Dennis Mathis

Dennis Mathis, Shelly Lowenkopf, Talking Heads, Ten Ways Writers Confuse Readers, TFS, Writing

Ten Ways Writers Confuse Their Readers-Part II

Mona Alvarado Frazier

How many ways are there to confuse a reader? I don’t know because the reader will throw the book down when the writing bores or frustrates them to death.

A couple of days ago I posted how writers confuse their readers. Here are five more, three from Dennis Mathis-Editor and two from my writing instructor Shelly Lowenkopf.

6. Negative Description- “He was not an aggressive driver. He didn’t speed or switch lanes or use his horn. She showed no hint of anxiety.” We don’t want to know what’s not there, we want to know what is there.


7. Commas- “I assumed his death would be reported by the press and the police checkpoint came as no surprise.” Self-explanatory.

8. Map-Making- “He climbed ten steps, walked twenty feet down the hall, turned left, walked east halfway down the corridor and knocked on the third door on the right.” It’s supposed to be a story, not a Thomas Guide.

9. Talking Heads-A long string of dialogue with no action, conflict, description, or dialogue tags (‘he said’). “A lamentable condition arising when two or more characters in a scene exchange dialogue with only minimal accompanying gestures. Individuals converse in real life. (They) use dialogue and agenda as though each were a volleyball being batted back and forth over a net.” From Lowenkopf’s “The Fiction Lover’s Companion (TFLC).”


10. TFS- Writers who are overly given to descriptions and explanations. The reader wonders where he/she is going.  The story should begin in the opening chapter, even the first page, not buried in chapter three. Tell the Freaking Story. (Also in TFLC).

Avoid these 10 pitfalls and you’ll be on your way to taking a reader along with you on your storytelling journey. Commit these errors and very possibly lose current and future readers.

Amada Irma Perez, Dennis Mathis, Sandra Cisneros, Ten Ways Writers Confuse Readers

Ten Ways Writers Confuse Their Readers-Part I

Mona Alvarado Frazier

Have you ever ended up finding something better than what you were looking for? Happened to me today and I’m glad it did. 


It started out with the desire to locate one notebook. My old faux Queen Anne end table sits next to my writing desk. It’s my writing storage area where old notebooks, binders, clipped articles, and printer paper reside. There are three years of critique notes, magazine articles, handouts and revision notebooks. 


Two hours later, after a  thorough cleaning of the dusty writing end table, I found some great tidbits of writing information. The one I found most interesting was a handout given to me by my first critique group leader Amada Perez, author of several children’s books. Her own writing journey began over a decade ago and included meeting Dennis Mathis, a professional and personal editor of award winning author Sandra Cisneros.


The 2008 handout is missing the first page but there are still several gems of good information. Mr. Mathis describes the following common problem areas when writing a short story or novel:

  1. The Hat- Don’t say on page eight that the character took off his hat if you hadn’t said on page one that he was wearing a hat. If the reader is confused, it’s the writer’s fault. You don’t get to dismiss as unsuited to your art a reader who doesn’t get it. 
  2. Missing Person- “I hadn’t eaten since the previous afternoon. Since the train had been so consistently late, I left my seat and wandered the platform in search of food. Eating a stale sandwich from a vending machine, my train pulled into the station.” Who is eating the sandwich?
  3. The Pyramid of Desireable Subjects- People, Animals, Plants, Physical Objects that are there, Observable phenomena, Things that are Not there, Abstract terms. Try to stay at the top of the pyramid.
  4. Unidentified Bodies- “She often had arguments with  her mother when she came home from work. ‘So what did you do all day?’ she’d say, then she would turn on the television. ‘As if it matters to you,’ she’d sigh.”I’ve been working my butt off. My feet are killing me.” This example was a first chapter of a novel.
5. Dead Would– “Some days she would be waiting for him on the couch wearing a provocative  outfit. She would be an aggressive lover.” The word would does have a legitimate place in the language. For example, it’s appropriate to say, “I would do it if he gave me $100.” Would is properly used in its conditional sense, not as a verb modifier. Try to stay away from the ‘would’ and go for the action. 



I will get back to the rest of these confusing writer habits in the next post. I really need to find that notebook for class.