Tag: writing

Art, Blogging, Creativity, Encouragement, Family, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Inspiration, poetry, Writing

Five Reasons to do a Year End Review

Mona Alvarado Frazier
by Martina Rathgens, flickr.com CC
by Martina Rathgens, flickr.com CC

“Out with the old, in with the new.” I don’t like that saying for several reasons, mainly because many old things have value.

But, there is also truth to the phrase. Making room for the new is worthwhile.

A year end review (let’s give this an acronym: YER) is all about looking back. Not to criticize or judge yourself and not necessarily to reflect on what you accomplished but to look back and see what you did and did not do.

A YER applies to any facet of your life: writing, drawing, poetry, cooking, crafting, (insert passion here).

For me, it’s about reflecting on what I’ve done in my writing life.

Here are my reasons for doing a YER:

1. Discovery- If my writing life is contained in a garage, I envision stepping in and searching through the shelves, opening file cabinets, investigating boxes, and poking about the dark corners.

What did I actually do? Is it what I wanted to spend my time on? Did this satisfy me?

I find notes of support, several manuscript rejection emails, a writing conference receipt, a writing fellowship rejection, numerous blog posts, two books on writing craft, 15 fiction books, several poems and an acceptance letter into a mentorship program.

There’s some valuable stuff in that garage. There’s also some dog poop and pee.

2. Appreciation-Look over what you’ve done this past twelve months, close to 365 days, not with a critic’s eye, but with an awareness of what you’ve done.

Highlight some of your favorite sentences, poems, art. “Oh yeah, I did that,” you can say. Post these items on your bulletin board, computer, or wherever you can remind yourself that you did some good stuff-not that this was easy, but you worked at making good stuff. You persevered.

Appreciate the high points and not so favorite parts of your art. Tell yourself: “I took that risk, didn’t work out, but I learned something.”

Recognize that you committed to something. You pushed the envelope. You took action.

3. Motivation-Where did your motivation come from this past year? Are there common themes or images? Why do you think you delved into these areas this past year? Are you still driven to spend your passion on these areas? What inspires you now?

4. Service- Who did you help or what did you bring to light with your passion? Did you share information, resources, increase awareness, touch someone’s heart, or contribute to a community?

Could you do more? (That’s a loaded question, we know we can always do a bit more).

5. Gratitude-What are you thankful for?

I’m encouraged by your thoughtful blog post comments, for allowing me into your life for a glimpse of your world, for sharing your passion and helping me to fuel my own.

I’m amazed when someone subscribes to my blog, comments, or clicks “like.” Thank you for your time. I know it’s valuable.

Our passions are many times a solitary venture so I’m grateful to have a close knit group of writing friends-women who support, encourage, and critique my fiction writing and efforts.

I’m grateful for the patience my family shows me when they know I need quiet in the mornings, when I don’t answer texts or phone calls before 10 a.m., or when I’m spending time away from my home to write.

By going through this exercise, I found I could pat myself on the back (it’s really okay to do that), gently kick myself for wasting time (social media), and feel motivated to continue on with my writing.

I have big plans for 2015 and I’m excited to get started on new adventures.

 

What are your plans?

 

 

Writers, Writing

‘Shoulding’ All Over Myself

Mona Alvarado Frazier
I Really Should...Flickr.com by Sookie
I Really Should…Flickr.com by Sookie

I hate the word ‘should,’ but I use it on myself quite a bit.

I should be writing (working on my new manuscript).

I should be reading to improve my writing.

I should find a new book to read. (I did find this fun game to select a book, but twice it selected one I already read).

I should clean the house. I hate cleaning house.

‘Shoulding’ all over myself makes a mess.

Psychologist, Clayton Barbeau, came up with the term “shoulding yourself” to describe this cognitive distortion.

Yes, I feel distorted right about now.

Another psychologist, Albert Ellis, calls it “musterbation.” Yew!

Both say that we get into trouble ‘shoulding’ ourselves when it takes the form of an automatic thought, an abstract meaning an obligation to do something and if we don’t do it we are (or feel) wrong and guilty.

‘Shoulding’ ourselves is like nagging. We don’t need a spouse, or mother, to do this to us. It’s a  self-generated nag that makes us not want to do the task in question.

But there is something more sinister when we use ‘should,’ repeatedly, such as I am doing to myself today. Both psychologists say that the most frequent result of ‘shoulding’ ourselves is procrastination.

Yeah, the big P. That’s it in a nutshell. I’ve just been procrastinating all morning. I’ve been waiting to ‘feel’ like writing, because most of the time I feel like writing. Just not today.

‘Should’ is procrastination in disguise. I have to remind myself that not doing the ‘should’ is a choice. No one is going to suffer irreparable harm if I don’t write, read, or clean my house.

And the act of writing about this ‘shoulding’ and what I’m really doing has given me an epiphany- a light weight one-but one nonetheless: taking a step toward the ‘should,’ begins to propel you towards some sort of accomplishment.

So, I may not have worked on my manuscript, but I did do some writing today.

And that insight makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.

So, now I’m going to go find my earbuds, the leash, and take my dog, Chip, out for a walk. Just because I want to do so.

Now go do something you want to do.